How to Have Thriving Adult Friendships

Is it just me or is it sometimes hard to make really good friendships as an adult?

And if that alone isn’t hard enough, there’s the added pressure to make sure your spouse clicks with theirs, the kids all get along, everyone’s schedules line up… Even the thought of setting all that up is exhausting!

I know you feel me on this one; adult friendships are not always easy, but they’re so worth it. When times are tough, you need a little support, or are looking for advice from someone in a similar life stage, your friends are your network and your community.

Let’s talk about some practical ways to build and maintain solid, lasting friendships at any age.

What kind of friendships do you have?

Think about your current circle or network: Who is in it? Who do you talk to regularly? Who is important to you? 

They say you’re most like the top 5 people you spend time with, so these people are key. Are they living lives you admire?

If this close circle is made up of people you admire, respect, or click well with, you’re likely on the right track. Making new friends is awesome, but also remember to keep these people close to you and appreciate them if they are relationships you want to maintain.

Make a note to call or plan a coffee date with them; texts and social media interactions are great, but nothing can replace a good conversation. Making time for this not only strengthens your friendships, but also fills your cup energetically.

Humans are hardwired for connection. Investing time in relationships is not frivolous, it’s necessary!

Making new friends as an adult

Maybe you scrolled right on down to this part, because honestly this is the ultimate question for so many. Gone are the days when you could just plop yourself down next to another kid in the sandbox and become instant best friends. Now this stuff takes some work!

Some questions to ask yourself: Who do you wish you had more contact with? What type of person would you love to meet in this season of life? What are your current priorities, and where might a friendship fit in well?

Maybe there’s someone you lost touch with and you’d like to reconnect. Maybe you’ve picked up a new hobby and you’d like somebody to go to yoga class with you. Maybe your pre-teen is going full-on teenager mode and you want to find another parent with kids of a similar age to just talk through all the changes together.

You’d be surprised how many new friends are probably waiting for you to find them and initiate the conversation. That old connection might still have the same email address. Someone at church might be curious to try yoga with you. That parent ahead of you in line at the school drop-off might want to swap parenting secrets over lunch.

When you open yourself up to new friendships, they just might start to appear.

Why bother making and keeping friends?

Solid friendships are a two-way street: there’s effort and reward on both sides of the equation. Good friends will help keep you accountable on your goals, comfort you when life is rough and lift you up when you are ready to quit. Having and being a good friend is essential to living a full life.

Friendship is so important, it’s one of the 7 Oola pillars for a balanced life. Oola has been such a blessing to me in a million ways, but one of the best has been the lasting friendships it’s brought me! They’re strong men and women who are in my corner, and also going after their own OolaLife.

If you’re ready to take charge of your life, too, and start finding balance in all 7 areas, let’s talk! I became a Certified Oola Life Coach because I saw the positive impact it had on my life and the lives of those close to me. I can’t wait to help you create that in your own life, too!earn more about Oola

“Friendship takes work. Finding friends, nurturing friendships, scheduling face time, it all take a tremendous amount of work. But it’s worth it. If you put in the effort, you’ll see the rewards of positive friends who will make your life extraordinary.”

Maya Angelou


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